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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26524585">Happy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfisgoingonanymore/pseuds/wtfisgoingonanymore'>wtfisgoingonanymore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Minor Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Unrequited Love, do not let the title fool you, lmao still don't know how to tag, there is no joy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:49:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,268</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26524585</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfisgoingonanymore/pseuds/wtfisgoingonanymore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin has been preparing for his friend's return- for Arthur's return. Now, they're back and Merlin has never been so...happy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Happy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>THIS IS NOT A HAPPY STORY. DO NOT LET THE TITLE FOOL YOU. THIS DOES NOT SPARK JOY.</p><p>Also I recommend listening to Heather by Conan Gray and Look Away by Eli Lieb as these are the songs I listened to.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the others reincarnated back to life, Merlin hoped that all the best pairs could finally get together. One of the reasons why Merlin fought so hard for LGBT+ rights is so he and his friends didn't have to hide their true feelings any longer. He thought that maybe this time, Gwaine and Percy could explore the sparks that flew between them, or Morgana and Gwen would see something in each other that never fully rose back in the day.</p><p>Maybe he and Arthur- Maybe they could finally pursue what be together.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Arthur?" Merlin hummed as he turned his head to face his King. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Metal and Magic sat side by side -their powers and destiny set aside as they sat in front of the fire with a mug of mead in their hands.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Yeah, Merls?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Heh...Merls. I always hated that, but it's okay when you say it." Merlin says with a small smile. Arthur snorted softly and turned to Merlin with that secret fond smile that he reserved especially for Merlin.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "What do you want, Merls?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "I don't...I don't quite remember." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Arthur tossed his head back as he let out a carefree laugh to fill the quiet room. Merlin couldn't help but smile as he watched Arthur relax and melt into simple peace and joy -looking extra beautiful from the glow of the fire. "You look really good right now." The alcohol-infused words slipped out of Merlin before he could even think. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Arthur chuckles and looks at him with that smile again. "Do I?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Yeah. Golden is a good color on you." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Arthur continued to look at Merlin quietly— observing him and admiring him. He chuckled softly and nodded "You too...but you're always pretty." He says with a soft chuckle. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Am I?" Merlin hummed thoughtfully. He's never really thought of himself as attractive in any way.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "'Course you are. You're the prettiest man in Camelot." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Mmm...more than Gwaine?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "So much more." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Then why does nobody like meee?" Merlin pouts and whines. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "What are you talking about, Merls? Everyone likes you." Arthur snickered softly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Yeah, but nobody's like...you know...kissed me." Merlin was red in both embarrassment and alcohol. Arthur laughed in response.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "You've never been kissed before?" Arthur says </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Well...I've kissed two persons, but that was looooong long ago," Merlin said  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Merls~ Is that your roundabout way of asking me for a kiss?" Arthur teased with a small cheeky smirk </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "What?! Noooo. No, it's not that." Merlin spluttered but was promptly cut off by Arthur pulling him in for a soft sweet kiss. Merlin didn't hesitate as he melted into the kiss immediately and easily— as if it was second nature to be kissing the king.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The air between them crackled as the mood shifted quickly. Arthur pulled Merlin into his lap and deepened the kiss with the other man responding enthusiastically. Bodies melded together through a powerful kiss as the king and his warlock became one. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And that is how it stayed until the queen made her way back. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And so Merlin fought. He'd participate in all kinds of events until the UK legalized same-sex marriage in 2013— the same year Arthur and the others arose from the lake.</p><p>In the last month of what has got to be Merlin's favorite year, his friends were finally all caught up and adjusted to the modern world. Leon and Lancelot were on the search for jobs in the police force or fire department— what with Merlin strictly forbidding any of them an army job. Elyan was still reeling from gadgets and was determined to learn more about them and took up multiple part-time jobs for multiple engineering kind of jobs. Morgana was constantly in the mall- quickly consuming all the money Merlin has earnt over the year with how much shopping she was doing. Gwaine surprised them all when his first choice was to pursue Percival rather than the nearest bar. That mission didn't take too long though, so the bar trip didn't take too long.</p><p>Merlin smiled happily as he looked around at his best friends seated at the biggest table the karaoke bar— ironically a round table. They were all happy, and so was Merlin. </p><p>It didn't matter if Arthur and Merlin were no longer as close as they were before. It didn't matter if Arthur's priority since their return and forever after is and always will be Guinevere. It didn't matter if Merlin's fight for a relationship between him and Arthur will never come to life. It didn't matter if Leon suspects Arthur wants to marry Gwen again. It didn't matter if Merlin would never again touch him again, kiss him again, or hold him again. It didn't matter if Merlin could never again love his king.</p><p>Merlin looked down at the sigil Arthur gave to him and looked up to see Arthur's jacket around Gwen. </p><p>It's alright. It didn't matter. He had his friends. This was all he could ever want: his friends eating out with him and listening to some good music playing in the background. It was alright. He was happy. </p><p>Really really happy.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 'As she walks by </em>
</p><p>
  <em> What a sight for sore eyes </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Brighter than a blue sky </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She's got you mesmerized </em>
</p><p>
  <em> While I die' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Honestly...why would someone play such sad songs on such a happy day? Who cares if the man you love is so mesmerized by a girl? Why do you have to play a song about how the guy you love could never love you back the way you love him? Why is there even a song that talks about how much you long to be the one he loves? That's such a downer to Merlin's happy mood. He didn't need these songs. He didn't need his friends' pitiful stares. What was that even about?</p><p>"Merlin?" Gwaine was suddenly by his side and held his shoulder gently as he wiped Merlin's cheeks. Since when were they wet? Stupid music ruining such a happy day.</p><p>"Yeah? Sorry. I zoned out." Merlin smiled as wide as he could, but that just made Gwaine frown more.</p><p>"Merlin, mate, do you wanna go? Percy and I can drive you home." He says</p><p>"Gwaine, I'm fine. It's just this damn music, you know?"</p><p>"Merlin...there's no song playing."</p><p> </p><p>Huh. Weird. When did the song stop?</p><p>"Merlin, you were mumbling to yourself and crying. We're all worried about you, mate."</p><p>Merlin frowned and shook his head "I'm fine. I'm great. I've never been happier." He insisted cause it was true.</p><p>"Merlin, I know you're not happy with Gwen and Arthur but-"</p><p>"I'm not! I mean- I'm happy! I'm so happy, Gwaine. I'm...I've never been happier, Gwaine. I'm...I'm really-"</p><p> </p><p>His face was really wet.</p><p>"I'm happy, Gwaine. They're perfect together."</p><p>He couldn't breathe. It was hard to speak properly with these damn sobs. Gwaine hugging him tightly didn't seem to be helping him either.</p><p>"I'm so happy, Gwaine. So happy....happy..."</p><p> </p><p>He was crying because Gwaine was moving him further away from his happy ending with all his friends. He was getting further and further from Morgana and Lance and Leon and Elyan and Percy and and the happiest couple...that didn't...didn't seem to notice he was gone. See? Why couldn't Merlin be as happy as they are together?</p><p>Why did that damn song have to play on just the happiest day?!</p><p>
  <em>'Why would you ever kiss me? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I'm not even half as pretty </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You gave her your sweater </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It's just polyester </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you like her better </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Wish I were...'</em>
</p><p>Oh hey...Merlin wrote that song.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Pssst~ Come chat over on tumblr. My url is still the same: wtfisgoingonanymore.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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